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( when you're young, things don't make sense in the ways they do when you're older. something said in the heat of the moment could mean something entirely different. something that you think might be one thing is really another. something could just appear on your skin one night that matches with a mark that shows up on your best friend and it makes no sense, but the two of you think it's super cool. it's something that doesn't make a lot of sense in all the ways it should, but it's something neat, anyway.

ace remembers when that mark showed up on the inside of his left wrist. a little spade he recognized immediately and figured that was just a sign from someone somewhere that he is going to be a pirate and his band of merry men will be the spade pirates. it all makes such clear sense. and it's even better when he finds out sabo has the same mark on him! that just means they're going to be together on the open seas, so ace believes.

and, yet, just around the corner is some sort of misery and despair that ace wasn't ready for. sabo is there and then suddenly he isn't. there's a pain in ace's chest that he's never felt before and he doesn't understand it, that deep, deep ache that can't be explained. it's heart-rending. for a long time he thinks this is how grief is, this thing that makes a home inside of his heart that he'll never get over, that he carries with him each day and becomes a part of him. that it's so deep, so untouchable, that even though he learns to live with it, it's still something that he wields like a weapon, not allowing people to get too close to him. he's afraid of what might happen.

that's not to say he doesn't make connections, because he does. he grows and learns and experiences life. along the way he learns that the mark burned into his skin is the mark of a soulmate and he understands now why he felt the loss as if he'd lost a limb, as if a part of his very soul became missing. and, in essence, it really has. but, he can't give up on living and forges bonds, makes friends, fails at being a captain, then swears his loyalties to a captain that becomes like a father figure to him. it's been one of his life's greatest experiences, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wish sabo was with him. that would only make things that much better.

and then there's luffy.

he's so proud of him and what he's become. he's no longer that annoying little kid he'd tried so desperately to get away from. he's grown up and has a fine crew of his own. he believes in luffy and wants him to succeed. it's why he's devastated when he and his crew show up at marineford. this is ace's problem, one he never should've gotten into and if he could do things differently, he would. like end blackbeard before he had the chance to gain power. or, at the very least, he shouldn't have gone up against him solo. he should've had some sort of back-up in place.

as ace is shackled there, he thinks back about things and feels like it's really unfair. this isn't how he wanted his life to end, there's so much more he wanted to see, wanted to do. there's so much more he wanted to do for whitebeard. there's so much more he wanted to talk about with luffy. he promised yamato that he'd be back for them.

and now? everything's getting cut short.

everything's happening all at once and ace can feel the cold hand of death even facing the heat of fire. how ironic, he thinks, to die this way. except, one second ace is kneeling for death and the next he's not and being tumbled out of the way by a smear of black and blue. he doesn't really know what's going on, just that it's loud and explosions are going off, there are clashes of metal against metal, and the last thing ace remembers for a while is seeing a pipe swing and crack sickeningly against a body just before he loses consciousness.

it's much later when he stirs and it's far quieter than things had been; it's dark and ace can't really tell where he is or what's going on. he feels heavy, his insides upset and churning. he blinks and rubs his eyes in a bid to focus more and he sees someone nearby. there's something so innate familiar about him to the point that ace is positive he actually died out there and this is some kind of weird afterlife where everything from the past is going to come back to haunt him. he clears his throat, sniffs, )

Uh...

( HELPFUL. )

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[ you can bet that sabo snickers to himself and briefly when he catches sight of ace's lack of shared amusement about the joke that he made. it was expected, though, so whatever awaited him, sabo knows he justly deserved it. ...not that he wouldn't protest it or try to defend himself when that time came.

and as he explained himself, he can sense ace's desire for sabo to provide more details of his life while they were separated. it doesn't take too much insight and understanding to reason that someone would want to know more than what sabo provides. yet, sabo isn't forthcoming with those details and takes full advantage of how ace leans into him and holds him again. his arms responding in kind, circling ace and bringing him closer. and at this moment, he'll quietly note how there was a slight difference in height. a very slight one. ]

...yeah, I'm here now and so are you.

[ gentle words full of warmth, affection, and affirmation that this was all very real. however— ]

But I'm sorry Ace. [ sabo says in a quiet and small voice; a voice just for ace. the lighthearted, teasing tone from before melting away to expose the far more vulnerable side of himself. he didn't want their reunion after so many years to be about him, especially when considering everything that ace had just gone through, but as ace clung to him like this, avoiding it felt wrong.

so, before sabo spoke up again, he removed his arms from around ace and placed both hands on either side of his face to raise his head; sabo wanted to be face-to-face with ace for this. his touch softening to where he was nearly cradled ace's face in his hands. ] I'm sorry that I stopped caring about trying to recover my lost memories. I promise you that if I had remembered sooner I wouldn't have waited this long to come back to you.

( at the apology, ace holds onto sabo a little bit tighter for just a fleeting moment. now that he has him here, he doesn't want to let him go. hopefully, they have the rest of their lives to spend relearning everything and making new, fun memories together. at the moment ace doesn't really know how that's going to work, or how things with his crew are going, but he'll face that once he's had time to settle and wind things down with sabo.

he's going to respond to that apology and tell sabo it's not really necessary, but he continues and even moves them so they're face to face. he watches him carefully, genuinely, narrows his focus to the things he's saying so he doesn't get lost in the way sabo's hands feel on his face. because that feels good; it's cozy and warm and so tender to the point it makes his heart ache all over again.

leaning his head to one side, he nuzzles against the palm of one of sabo's hands, keeps his own curled around him to keep them pressed close. briefly, his eyes close and he carefully shakes his head, )

You don't have to apologize. ( what could he even have done? ace can't even begin to imagine. ) We're here now, that's what matters.

[ sabo watches ace closely as he nuzzles his hand wishing that he wasn't wearing his gloves. though it doesn't stop him from rubbing a small circle on ace's cheek, nor does it prevent the way that he takes in every bit of this memory and commits it to heart. he will not forget this. never. ]

Maybe not but I don't want you to ever doubt the bond that we share. [ his voice trailing. ] ...in more ways than one.

[ he drops the hand that ace hadn't pressed up against seeing no reason for it anymore.

now, speaking of their bond and what sabo assumes is a mutual wordless understanding that there is more between them than what has been said—perhaps it's time to put actual words to the feelings. he knows it shouldn't be sensitive territory to walk but he finds himself hesitating more than he'd like regardless. maybe it's the fact that sabo knows he's being a bit selfish in cherry picking the things he wants to address and how he goes about addressing them. or maybe it's something else.

nevertheless, sabo shakes off most of the ill-placed anxiety (or attempts to) and asks the question. he speaks clearly yet still finds himself a little bit reserved despite it all. he'd kick himself if he could see himself from an outside perspective. ...but how does one just bring this up? ]

Did you learn the secret behind the mark that appeared on both of us when we were kids?

( he better not forget this, or anything else from here on out. or ace really will fight him. he's lost sabo once, nearly lost him again without even realizing he had sabo to lose one more time, he's not going through that. not again.

it's almost funny how sabo brings up a bond when ace is already on his way to accepting these tumultuous feelings whirling within him. he's wondering if it's that very bond that has his heart squeezing too hard or his stomach flipping in quick swoops over touches and glances. it's almost funny, too, how they were thick as thieves when they were children and nothing could have separated them and now so many years have passed enough that they're grown and ace feels like he's slipped right back to that. there's a huge chunk missing where they could have grown together, but to ace it doesn't even matter. they can fill in that gap moving forward.

his fingers twitch against sabo's back and he moves his hands around to his hips. both of his thumbs rub over his sides in a slow, sweeping motion. )

Shame they don't work like vivre cards, huh? ( ace's gaze falls to his wrist, only now realizing it's naked and he momentarily regrets the loss of his log pose. but, he can see the mark there, stark against his skin. ) What's the point of having a soulmate mark if it can't even tell me you're alive?

[ for better or for worse, ace referring to it as a mark that soulmates share makes sabo flustered in a way that he would arguably say he has never been. it makes him happy, puts his mind at ease (what was he so worked up about?), and embarrasses him all at the same time. he becomes hyper aware of the absence of the pain that sat firmly in his chest for years. he didn't know what answer he wanted but clearly this was enough.

he'll pull his hand back and take a moment to remove his gloves, letting them drop to the ground, before saying anything. it felt appropriate. sabo's bare hands hinting how there might be a few more scars on his person than the obvious one on his face. ]

Maybe it's because it would take the romance out of the stories and legends. If people just found their soulmate so easily then...

[ if sabo was going somewhere with that train of thought, he loses track of it as he admires the small spade on his exposed wrist. it was so rare for sabo to be without his gloves, for more reasons than just this, and it was a shame that he would have to cover it again. the unfortunate nature of his work. ]

Even if they don't work the same as vivre cards, it's proof that there is someone out there meant for you. That was comforting enough for me on some days.

[ barely a second after sabo finishes the sentence he makes a soured expression that then leads him into a heavy sigh. now, chuckling to himself, sabo will lean heavier into ace. ]

I can't believe that they ended up being right.

( as sabo moves to take off his gloves, ace watches with rapt attention. he doesn't know why he needs to see it, just that he does. there is the vague memory of seeing it when they were kids, but that was back then, this is something different. and, he's soon rewarded for that silent patience as the glove is removed and he sees the match to his mark on sabo's wrist. it's almost overwhelming and his breath leaves him as if he was punched in the gut.

after sabo leans against him, he can't help the way his hand reaches for his wrist. his touch is light, gentle. the scars he can see, wonders if that's why sabo wears the gloves, but he's not going to press about them right now. somehow it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. what he does do is rub his thumb carefully over the mark and even though he can't actually feel anything, he knows it's there and the perfect match to his own.

his other hand comes up until his fingers slip into blond hair and he just holds on to the back of his head, perfectly content to just stand here and fold up inside one another for the moment. this is like some sort of dream come true. )

Who ended up being right?

[ it doesn't come as a surprise to sabo when ace reaches to touch his matching mark. sabo's entire intent was to remind both of them of what it looked like to see them side by side. the calming effect of ace touching the mark not being one that sabo expected, though, he doubts that it was from that single touch alone. he would say it had to do more with how ace was holding him overall, and how he felt (ironically) very safe like this. ]

Just someone in the army...

[ and while it would benefit for sabo to further explain elaborate to what that person had said to him, ace's touch has him soft and distracted from anything other than the present. there were years worth of conversations that they needed to catch up on with a limited amount of time to do it, and sabo was already being unhelpful in the way he provided just enough information. but maybe he could be forgiven as he stops speaking for the moment and presses his face against ace's neck with a soft sigh.

sabo wanted to continue questioning just what it meant to be a soulmate to ace. obviously, sabo had an idea what it meant to ace, but given how many years that they had been apart from one another, perhaps things might have changed a little. even though it's painfully clear that neither one of them are eager to leave the other any time soon, there are many ways and definitions of what it meant to be with someone. they were also kids at time, and what do kids really know?

the question rests in the back of sabo's mind but he's in no rush to put a voice to it. instead he has his free (bare) hand pressed against ace's back to hold him close and directly feel ace's warmth against him. ]

( there's something niggling in the back of ace's mind, something that he wonders if he should be worrying about. sabo's not offering up a lot of information at once, and ace can't help but ponder if it's because he doesn't want to tell ace everything because it will complicate things in an already complicated matter, or if this is just how he's become over the years. he probably shouldn't worry about it, but he might think about it a little longer than necessary.

content enough to put it aside for now and simply bask in the closeness, ace closes his eyes as he rests his head against sabo and continues to gently rub over the matching soulmate mark. he doesn't know why it makes him feel calm, but it does. part of him is convinced this isn't actually real and he's actually dead, but if he's dead and gets to spend that eternity with sabo, that's okay too. probably.

of course, there's many things he wishes he could've done, but. if he's dead, he's dead.

he lets a bit of time pass, simply basking in being this close to sabo and holding him and touching him and, well, smelling him. it's not weird, he promises. )

So, what now?

[ even if it is weird, sabo's probably not any better with his behavior. had they been lying down, sabo would have allowed himself to fall asleep in ace's arms. it wasn't the case, of course, and if ace felt as though that sabo was hiding something from him then he isn't misguided. however, if he wasn't going to call sabo out about it then he wasn't going to offer up any additional information about it. sorry ace but he held his tongue for a reason.

at least that had been the intention up until ace brings up what they were going to do now. because wasn't that the question? sabo flinches just so before he pulls back to look at ace face-to-face. his eyes looking to the side and down before he actually meets his gaze. ]

...well, what do you want, Ace?

[ he really wants to kick himself for sounding as uncertain as he is, but it was hard for him to be confident with something like this. there were things that hadn't been addressed (but were certainly going to be addressed). ]

Even though we're soulmates, things are a bit different than when we were kids. [ sabo says softly and to put things very lightly. ] Whitebeard will probably recover from his injuries, and I have to return to the army.

[ and there was absolutely no way that sabo was going to entertain the idea of asking ace if he was going to bother picking between the two. he just went with the assumption that they were going to go their separate ways. ]

( in retrospect, he realizes it's not really fair to put the onus on sabo as to what might be next for them. granted, they do need to discuss it — absolutely need to discuss things &mash; but he probably could've worded it all better. because it's something they should probably decide together? or, at the very least, figure out if they need to decide things together. ace knows he'd like to be a we going forward, but that's going to require a different sort of lifestyle.

it seems almost unfair that after all this time, after all that they've been through and just been through that they have to get involved in something so serious. maybe, if they were different people, things wouldn't be so hard. then again, if they were different people, they probably wouldn't be here.

ace's jaw clenches as he thinks about this, teeth grinding against one another at the unfairness. because deep in his heart he knows what's going to happen. he lifts his hand to cup sabo's cheek, his thumb brushing over the swell of it. his hand slips a little and his thumb swipes over the corner of his mouth. a soft sigh is exhaled and he gives a small smile. )

Guess I can't convince you to become a pirate, huh?

[ as ace sets his jaw and grinds his teeth, sabo can feel his chest tighten knowing that he's part of the source of that frustration. it's one that he would share had it not been for ace's forced recovery and the smile he gives him. the touch that causes him to shudder. how unfair was that? sabo is the one to smile when things seem rough, but now he stands on the other side as he leans into ace's touch with his eyes closed. ]

I'm sorry. [ sabo gently apologizes and opens his eyes slowly. he brings a hand up to place on top of ace's. ] There are people who need help and a world that needs to be changed.

[ freedom was something that he spoke to in great lengths as a child. it was something the both of them talked about—how they'd stay together, sail together, go on adventures together. now, as an adult, it was what he wanted for others even if it denied him some level of freedom in doing so. a small sacrifice for an end that would impact the lives of so many more than he could imagine. unfortunately, it never felt suffocating until this moment right now.

sabo adjusts his placement on ace's hand to lace their fingers together and, allowing himself to simply act, lightly presses his lips against ace's knuckles in a brief kiss. ]

But I do want to be with you.

( part of him had hoped that sabo might somehow change his mind in the handful of minutes that just passed. a stupid hope, he knows that, but he's a little selfish that way. they both have different lives now that are taking them in different directions and ace has a little fear that if they part once more that he might not see sabo again. it's not like things are easy or safe.

his gaze falls to watch as sabo presses that kiss against his knuckles and has the strong urge to yank his hand away and replace it with his mouth. which should probably be something alarming, but it's not. it's just a want that slowly builds in his stomach, making it flip and swoop like he's some young innocent.

now, ace could give up being a pirate, but that's just not in him. not yet. there's still more he wants to see and do and knows that if he quit now, he'd regret it for the rest of his life. he's got a second chance at that now, so it seems like he should make the most of it... even if it means splitting from sabo again. not that he has to right away or anything, time still needs to be taken for recovery. not only for himself but whitebeard too — he thinks, he still needs to find out more information.

anyway.

leaning in again to press their foreheads together, he tilts slightly to bump their noses. lips parting on a soft breath he can feel the urge to close the small gap begin to take over, though he still resists for the moment. )

I want to be with you, too... but I can't quit yet. ( he sighs, his other hands grips sabo's shirt lightly. ) I want forever with you, Sabo.

[ though this isn't the first time that they've pressed their foreheads together, there's a difference this time when ace does it than previously. perhaps it has to do with ace's earnest declaration of how he wanted to be with sabo forever. or the way that he clings to his shirt as he does. ...or more likely, the combination of all of those things as sabo finds himself self-conscious about the lack of distance and the way that ace's lips part. a faint color dusting his cheeks. ]

I wouldn't ask you to quit, Ace; being a pirate was the dream that we all had.

[ a dream that originally detailed how the two of them would already be traveling together doing whatever they wanted. the two of them as captains (with sabo doing a bit more of the heavy lifting in terms of navigation) as they ventured. just the two of them—two soulmates. soulmates didn't have to be romantic, and while sabo was without his memories, he had never considered getting involved with anyone let alone his soulmate.

yet, now, sabo's heart yearned for the possibility of being with ace forever. overcoming his self-consciousness, sabo closes the gap between the two of them with an apologetically soft kiss. it's a brush of lips that barely lasts for a moment before sabo realizes what he had done. ]

Umm... [ his face heats up. he had kissed ace's knuckles, too, hadn't he? why had he done that? (he knew why.) as the heat spreads further across his face and down his neck, sabo attempts to pull away from ace—placing his hands on ace's shoulders and taking a step back. ] I—

( yeah, that's the stuff.

except, it's over before it's really begun and ace isn't too happy about that. it's like that tender kiss unlocked something in him and things make a little more sense to him, become a little clearer. he's exceptionally happy that sabo bridged that gap — it makes him feel like they're on the same page.

which means he has to stave off the freakout he can see coming. )

Hey... ( ace follows so the space between them doesn't grow wider. his hands move, both placed on either side of sabo's face; firm but gentle. ) Come on; I thought you were dead and you forgot me, all in a decade. I think we can do a little better than that, huh?

( nothing else really matters; they'll figure things out from here, ace knows they will. even if it's a hard decision to make, they'll still have each other there, waiting.

that's why — if sabo lets him — ace will move in for a proper kiss this time, one that speaks of all the affection and hope and even all the grief he's carried with him over the years. he's got sabo now, he's not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. )

[ while it isn't sabo freaking out, it also isn't sabo not freaking out. it was more that sabo felt like he took advantage of something he shouldn't have, but clearly that had all been misplaced. he says nothing to ace's response; only the feeling of the heat on his face growing hotter as the color on his face undoubtedly deepens fills sabo's thoughts as he processes it all.

fortunately, there's little resistance from sabo as ace comes back to kiss him properly. sabo only manages to give ace a slightly confused look before accepting the kiss and the tension in his arms go slack. for everything that they shared as children, and there was plenty, this was not one of them. as if two wild boys would fully understand what a kiss could mean. yet, despite the things that would benefit from being explicitly said, it was easy for sabo to share in the feelings and reciprocate them as he kisses ace back.

the kisses unlock the path for something else, but sabo doesn't want to have things get too carried away from the start and will break away eventually. his voice is a bit breathy despite the quip. ]

...I think there's room for practice.

( two wild boys growing into two wild adults that know the gravity of the situation. it sucks, to put it bluntly, but they both have paths to follow; theirs will intersect again. it's quite literally destined. but, ace can't say he's not a little... sad that once things are fully settled, they'll have to part ways. he doesn't know how long they've got, but he wants to make the most of what they do have.

it's why he makes a sound akin to a whine when sabo pulls away. it was just getting good! honestly, that's so rude of him!!

but, ace will count it as a victory because he can hear that breathlessness in sabo's tone. whatever small victory, he'll take. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, chasing the taste of sabo there and wanting more. he wonders if that's because of the soulmate thing or just a young and horny thing. maybe both?

probably both. )

Why'd you stop then, huh?

[ definitely both. without a doubt.

especially considering how sabo's eyes were focused on ace's lips and following ace's tongue causing him to do the same but far more subtly. however, as that might be, it doesn't change how sabo makes it a point to keep his mind focused on the reason why he had pulled away as opposed to going with the immediate thought of conveniently "forgetting" as to why. a true test of will, honestly. ]

You're okay with this?

[ the two of them kissing and everything else that was inevitably going to happen. ]

The last time we were face-to-face was when we were kids. Though... [ sabo purposefully not saying it was the last time that they'd seen one another given it was ace's execution announcement and wanted poster was that triggered his memory to return. and as sabo draws out his following comment, he takes ace's left hand and with the other he caresses ace's face and smooths back his fringe. ] Of the two of us, you haven't changed too much.

[ sabo's teasing remark punctuated with him placing a feather-light kiss on the small spade on ace's wrist. look, sabo is fully aware of how different he looks as an adult. ]

( just as he's set to barrel on ahead without even letting sabo finish, his hand lifts to brush his hair away and it's such a soft, gentle, intimate gesture that it makes his mouth snap shut immediately and his throat is dry that it clicks when he swallows.

funny how that works.

a full-body shiver shakes through him as sabo kisses the mark and ace doesn't know if it's because of the mark itself or if it's just because it's sabo doing this or some other mystical soulmate-y reason. not that it really matters. his lips part on a soft breath and he just stares at him silently for a moment, then another. )

You're still Sabo.

( it rolls off his tongue easily because it's true. soulmate or not, this is still sabo standing in front of him after all this time. scars may decorate his body in ways he never expected or wanted, but to ace they're just proof of his being alive. the package may be slightly different, but the inside is still him. so, he gives an impish sort of smile as he gives a little squeeze to sabo's hip. )

I'm okay with it. ( it feels right to him. it might be the soulmate thing influencing him, but ace is pretty sure he felt this was inevitable before the marks even showed up. ) Are you?

[ there's an all-too satisfying feeling of victory that fills sabo as ace is silenced by a single, simple touch that grows inside of him when ace shudders at the kiss the mark. he will definitely not forget this. it would be something that sabo would hold over ace to be smug about had he also not felt his heart melt at ace's eventual response. truthfully, sabo might have had some concerns about if he was still that person for ace but hearing all of that from ace was enough. sabo didn't need it to be repeated to him twice.

moreover the squeeze of his hip and the smile on face's face brought more color to sabo's face as it reinforced and confirmed the nature of "want" that they were speaking to as well. oh how they both grew up in different but similar ways. ]

Yeah. [ sabo says in a low voice as he brings their faces together—their lips just barely touching as he says one more thing. a very important thing to make clear despite of where things go from here on out and where the end up. ] As long as it's with you then I'm fine with anything. Just don't end up hurting yourself.

[ it still might not be the exact words that sabo wanted to say himself nor was this resolving all parts of what they were going to do next, but it's fine. it doesn't change the message or the meaning, and the mark on their wrists tied them together in ways that didn't for other people. there would be time to say those words later as well as figure out the logistics that they brushed up against.

for now, sabo will eliminate that final space between them and press his lips against ace's for a kiss that's significantly more confident that the first one. and one that he doesn't intend to interrupt any further as he loops his arms around ace's neck. ]

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